Design your own MP (UK only for now)
Tricky, right just use our easily adaptable templates, click on the one which appeals, simply download. Our ingenious ‘MooPlet’ © tools let you glamourize, manipulate and mould ‘til you get what you want. Personality too.
Our obsession with appearance, presentation and superficial or perceived charisma is catching up with us. Is that a negative? Do MPs feel a need to subvert public opinion away from their last few years of behaviour. It has not been altogether in keeping with what us plebs might want? Perhaps that’s it! Failing to do what they should, behave as they must, perhaps their conclusion is that they must strive harder to ‘project’ the real image of themselves. That's the one they want us to see.
In the Mudder of all Parliament's Parliamentary past this 'image' was encapsulated in old fashioned terms, among which ‘champion of the people’, ‘man of the soil’ and that kind of thing, ‘reet good bloke’, almost forgot that last one! This form of ‘image’ has been dispensed with. It’s colourful packaging and carefully honed wafflings at worst now, some not even careful or even well considered.
Special advisors enter stage right
‘You look a thousand dollars dapper Minister, very business like,Statesmanesque, a power dresser may I say. Doesn’t matter whether you do anything. And Minister, not to worry if you say something daft, we’ll jolly well Photoshop © the lot.' Roll camera.
It's Ashley and Gormley whot have teamed up, Special Advisors to boot. Ashers is from Bolton, Gormers from Bromley. They, the Minister’s first appointments, make a fearsome pair. Both PPE’s (Oxon) their plan is to see that the Min, call him Henry, makes it to PM in double quick time. Their reward? They keep their glam jobs and don’t have to sit in front of a computer and abacus working out the next winner of the Highlands to Islands rail operator tender. Ashers is not an algorithm animal you see. Hates them.
Keep watching a reality show near you, Henry will be on it soon I can assure you.
Provenance
It is not a good time to say anything negative about our cousins from over that pond. I wasn’t going to anyway. The US is where what we tend to call 'marketing' began, not the stone tablets and cave paintings, splendid efforts though they were. That was a while ago. Modern marketing I mean. Perhaps JFK and his patronistic set were the first, on any scale in politics. Mass communications, JFK with his partial and engaging Irish lilt and charisma used it well. Of course Joe paid. Almost everybody.
Reality TV appearances, designer clothes (mostwebsited now) and allowing a wife to be photographed draped over the coveted 17th century chaise longue. Ashers and Gorms have been really busy I hear you muse. The results are evident though aren’t they?
Who's fault?
Blame games are always popular. Let's blame the law
The one who gets it right in the neck is the Bobby. Their rank doesn't matter. We blame most things on them these days, trying to look after this Gang of Grooks and worse is their cross to bear, let them take the stick. One fine Westminster evening, when Henry was in a hurry, rushing for this interview and late for checking his lottery ticket again I expect. - it backfires a tad. What do the men in blue do? On his monocycle he was Wants to get out of Dawning Street! Slam. They close the gate quick , trying to chop him in half, or damage the poncy pink bike at least. He reacts badly and alleges they’re plebs and sends them all to Hades, selecting quite common words, but not normally sensible to use in these circumstances.
SIRP RADIO Interview
'TV Reality??' Whose bally reality is that Henry?’br>
Background - The new Min of Cult, H. Fotheringham-Worseley, (Ludlow ) descends from the generations of stolidly upright F.W’s, natives hailing from sleepy Shrophire, bordering on those ancient rugged Welsh mountains. Oh ye Gallic lands of shaggy dogs, sheep and Sheepshankers. He and I enjoyed the 6th form together at Owndell.
Q. Reality TV, your view Minister?
A. New to the job, I would err on the side of 'perhaps'. Do you mean the licence for a new Reality Channel Kwelks? (my Ooondell School nom de plume). I notice that Realtors are not that popular in the US right now!(adds perceptively)
Q. The medium and its cultural benefits Minister, your overview was what I was hoping for?
A. I have in mind a parliamentary sub-committee chaired by someone like your good self. (Rest must be the tape recorder, goes on mumbling and blathering, 35 mins of it)
I think ‘What an appropriate reply’. T'was then I notice a parchment protruding from the Hon Min’s emerald green portmanteau, the portcullis proudly golden in the morning winter's sun. I manage to read a snippet, ‘Appearance Fees, TV contract’ it says, ‘Gombi Desert Survival Series’.
I put down my microphone and stamp on it.
Early years in this culture
We can only hope, as our little darlings crave to be taught at school, that the wisdom and reality they are imbibed with, exposed to, is something other than groups of legislators from Westminster wallowing in green Oozy Jungle slime bighting the heads off insects and swallowing them.
Christmas plea - Those proud parents (rightly so) of primary school teachers who can, should immediately choose the ‘OPT PERMANENTLY OUT’ button on all the Reality TV channels in the house, when they pop over to their bright young thing’s pad on the 25th.
‘Twit, that Mic’s costuz more ‘an a faazun’ quid!’ … …..
(SpikeIslandRadioPeterborough ‘Fort for the Day’ 17 Dec 2012) © Ubiquitous Donkey Release
Schedule this week
Wed. Pedraig Francis - Education - '
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